Coming Out Again

Anyone that trulety knows me, knows that I am a private person.  I don’t go aroung flauting  my lifestyle nor do I go around telling everyone I am a lesbian.  I also don’t hide my sexuality either.  My family and close friends know that I am gay, and anyone outside of that circle is on a need to know basis only.  There will come a time when you will have to come out to someone that is outside of that circle; a co-worker or a new friend for example.  Granted, you are not obligated to divulge personal information to coworkers, but there will come a time where there is no way around it.  Take the company Christmas party for example; when you show up with your partner.  There will be whispers and there will be questions.  My question would be do you tell them before hand or do you just show up?  I don’t mean to announce it to the entire company, but more so the folks you work with on an everyday basis.  I have purposely avoided social events with my coworkers for this very reason.  I am unsure of the reaction I will receive and I don’t want to be stuck in an awkward situation.  I don’t mind coming out again because every time I do, its so much easier than the last.   My dilemma is when do I do it?   Or do I even need to do it at all?

As for new friends, you have that invisible thin line between telling them too soon or too late.  If you tell them too soon, they may think you have ulterior motives.  On the other hand, if you wait too long to tell them, they may think you don’t value the friendship for you waited so long to tell him or  her.  For me, If and when I strongly feel that friend will not have an issue with me being a lesbian, that’s when I tell them.  If I don’t have that comfort, then I just don’t address it.  I remind myself that I don’t have to explain myself to anyone.  I’m telling you for the simple fact that I value our relationship; and that’s how I think situations such as those should be approached. It’s not about them, its about you.

According to the Bible

Doesn’t the Bible say homosexuality is a sin?  I saw this question posted on social media today.  I was about to respond, but though I’d share my views and opinions here.  Yes, the Bible states that any man that lays with another man shall be put to death.  The Bible also mentions several other sins that we have conveniently overlooked.   According to the Bible, being a thief is an act of sin; but there are people that still do it.  A murder is a sinner according to the Bible; but people still kill.  An adulterer would be stoned to death according to the Bible; but we still have relations outside of wedlock and lay with thy neighbour’s wife.  The biggest sin that I believe is plaguing Jamaicans is Envy(badmind).  For some of us are so envious, we commit additional sins in the process of furthering our gains.  Instead of working to buy the nice car we want, instead we decide to steal it from the person who has actually worked for theirs.  Quite often, it doesn’t stop with stealing; it goes as far as senselessly taking another person’s life.

What about the inners that are raping our young women?  What about those that are molesting our children?  What about the parents that are aware of the molestation and do not intervene for fear of loosing financial support from the perpetrator?  Why are we not as outspoken on these issues?   Why do I not see rallies protesting these issues as I see for gay resistance?  Why do we not have televised debates on how we are going to combat the sexual abuse of our women and children?  As Jamaicans and as a nation, we need to do better.  There are bigger fishes to fry than worrying about what two consenting adults are doing in their bedroom; and that is not according to the Bible.

Jamaican Food / Cuisine: Sunday morning breakfast – Plantains

National ‘Coming Out’ Day

October 11th is National Coming out Day in the U.S.  This day is recognized by members of the LGBT community.  Marking the 26th anniversary, this day is used to share personal stories of coming out of the closet with those who have not.  With that being said, I would like to share my story of when I came out to my mother.  As I shared before, I sought advice from a therapist to help me guide me through my process of accepting myself.  After what I thought to be a very successful session, I got in my car, drove to my mother’s house and told her I needed to talk to her about something.  She looked at me with this look like Uh Oh.  I reassured her that there was no need to be worried.  Once she sat down and looked me in the eye, I just blurted it out.  “I’m gay”!  What! was her initial response.  I didn’t say anything, so she asked “What did you say”?  I responded, “I Think you heard what I said”.  She sat silent for maybe be two minutes.  In that situation, two minutes is an eternity.  Finally, she stood up with her arms outstretched and said, “You are my daughter, and I love you regardless”.   That threw me for a loop, because I was not expecting that reaction.  I was expecting to be cursed out to no end or being disowned.  I was so taken back by her words that I just burst into tears.  As my tears fell, so did hers.  We hugged and cried.  I walked away from that experience feeling as if I had just awaken from a two day sleep.  I had built up so much anticipation for the worst and it worked out for the better.  What that experience also gave me was confidence; the more people I told, the easier the conversation became.  I am sharing this story because I know that there are a lot of others struggling with the same dilemma.  Those who are afraid to come out for fear of the repercussions, fear of the unknown and even fear of loosing their families.  Yes, it may be or seem difficult, but it is not impossible; I’m proof of that.

Single Again!

keep calm im single
Once again, I have loved and lost.  As much as I do not like to be unattached, I’d rather be single than be with someone I know is not worthy.  In no way shape or form am I being conceited or self absorbed; It’s just that I refuse to settle for less than what I know I deserve.  Before I enter into another relationship, I’m going to take some time and enjoy being by myself.  This time, I’m going back to the drawing board.  For some reason, my picker has been way off; and I mean way off.  They start out being so cute and endearing, then turn out to be anything but.  Then you have your liars and opportunists.  It’s a struggle being a single lesbian these days.  The pretty ones are the devil and the nice ones are taken.  What’s a girl to do?  What I’m not going to do is give up on finding love.  I know the woman for me is out there and she will find me.  I just hope she doesn’t drag her feet.


Originally posted on Jamaican Journal:

Serious ting! Dominoes competition.

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World Mental Health Day in Jamaica

Originally posted on Petchary's Blog:

Mensana Jamaica is a mental health support group that does much-needed work here in Jamaica. Below is Mensana’s message for today (October 10, 2014) – World Mental Health Day. There is still much work to be done in support of Jamaicans living with mental illness. If you are in Kingston and would like to support the organization in its annual fundraiser, please join them for the traditional “Saturday Soup” tomorrow.

Mensana's fundraiser.

Mensana’s fundraiser.

Mensana Jamaica welcomes the observance of World Mental Health Day on October 10. The focus on schizophrenia this year is most appropriate in our view as schizophrenia is a very common mental illness, but is grossly misunderstood by most Jamaicans. Consequently caregivers and loved ones of persons living with schizophrenia and many persons living with schizophrenia themselves, experience a lot of suffering due to ignorance, fear, misconceptions, stigma, shame and discrimination.

Mensana knows about that. We hear about…

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Nicki Minaj Blushes – Ellen’s Version of ‘Anaconda’

Bi-Curious Female

Hello. I am a bi-curious female. I am not even sure i will ever have the courage  ( yes courage!)to get to know what it is like to be with a woman, but i would love to be able to talk with persons who have a similar curiosity as i do. I would prefer to reach out online as i wouldnt want to be “known” unless i have some level of comfort. Do you know any like minded persons? Has anyone else ever reached out with a query similar to mine? Help!!!!


First I want to apologize or posting this without your consent, but the contact information you provided was invalid.  I’m hoping you will revisit the blog to see my response.  Before you do anything, I suggest you decide if this is the lifestyle for you and if you are ready to accept the conditions that come along with it(especially if you are residing in Jamaica).  Meaning, not everyone is going to agree with or understand your lifestyle, but you will have to be confident in knowing who you are in order to withstand the backlash.  The last thing you want to do is open that door and not know which direction to go.  Now, if and when you decide that you want to act on your desires, my advise is first find someone that you can confide in; having that line of support is critical.  I would not have made it this far without it.  There will be times when you WILL need someone to talk to, and not having that outlet will overwhelm you.  The next thing is you have to be honest with people.  Since you mentioned that you wanted to explore online.  Don’t start out by lying and being deceitful.  There are people out there who will understand that you are not where you want to be on your journey and will work with you; but the key is to be completely honest.  All of what I am saying is form my personal experience.  I have been there!  Knowing I was attracted to girls and afraid to do anything about it.  I also didn’t have the courage to be open with who I was.  When I decided to explore my feelings, I was not honest with the women I brought in the situation, and that cost me a really good friend.  Thankfully, I found my line of support.  Someone I could open up to.  She opened my eyes to a lot of things. But the most important thing she told me was that “At the end of the day, it is your happiness.”  It took a while for me to really understand what that meant, but I hope you will as well.  If you need further advise, please don’t hesitate to reach out again.

Good Luck on your journey–GJ


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